Broken
by Pepper Walker
Summary: It's no secret Eli knows the new girl. The real mystery is why he acts so strangely when she's around.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't, nor have I ever, owned Degrassi. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.**

**Hi guys! This is my first attempt at an Eclare fic and to be honest, I have mixed feelings about this one. So I'm just going to try to have fun with this one and hope that I don't get any flames. Hope you guys like it.

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_Broken_

_Chapter 1_

Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards walked hand in hand through the halls of Degrassi. Eli hated the new uniforms but he applauded Clare for wearing it with dignity. She had told him she used to wear a uniform to Degrassi by choice, so this wasn't such a change to her. He could feel himself falling more in love with her with every day that passed.

"Clare!" Eli felt the resistance of his girlfriend stopping in mid step. He turned to see Mr. Simpson looking at Clare.

"Do you mind helping the new student around school?" He asked.

"Of course," she said with a smile. Eli smiled himself. Clare was so willing to be helpful, spreading her sunshine everywhere she went. Also, this would help redeem them in Simpson's eyes.

He grinned in return. He turned and made a gesture with his arm. "Great! Just help Miss Devlin get situated please."

Eli's stomach dropped and he fought a cold sweat. _Please, no. Not her, anyone but her._

The girl came from around their principal. She was short and thin and pale as a porcelain doll. Her dark hair was pulled back in messy pigtails. Her eye makeup was smoky and her lips were a rich red color. She wore a black lace choker with roses on it. There were a couple silver rings on her hands. Her nails were long but unpolished. There were fishnet stockings and knee high boots below her skirt. She was holding a large, tattered grey messenger bag. She seemed nervous. Her eyes lit up when she saw him.

"Oh my god, Eli!" She squealed, quickly closing the space between them. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him against her in a tight hug. "So this is where you ran off to!"

Clare let go of his hand. Eli felt sick, but her weight against him was familiar and though he hated to admit it, he missed it. He sighed and hugged her back. Memories flooded back and he felt tears creep up. He felt her tremble slightly and he knew she was fighting back tears of her own. What killed him was knowing these feelings were his fault. He had done this to her.

Clare looked at him expectantly and he let go. He gestured to her. "This is my girlfriend Clare. Clare, this is my friend Beth."

Beth stuck her hand out. She smiled sweetly. "Like the Kiss song."

Clare smiled in a way to let the girl know she had no idea what she was talking about. "Nice to meet you Beth. Well, guess we better start the tour."

"I'll catch you guys later," Eli said. He swooped in, quickly kissing Clare. He turned to the other girl. "Good to see you again Beth."

"Bye Eli," she said softly, but he was gone before she spoke. Eli moved like there was somewhere he desperately needed to be. He almost bowled over Adam in his haste, who also watched Eli's hasty retreat into the crowded halls.

"So, you guys know each other?" It came out a question but Clare knew the answer.

"Yeah." Beth's voice was distant as she watched the retreating figure. Adam joined the girls, smiling widely at Beth.

"Hey, Clare," he said, not looking at her. "Who's this?"

"This is Beth Devlin," Clare said. "Beth this is Adam. He's a friend of mine and Eli."

"Pleased to meet you," Adam bowed low, making both girls laugh. Beth took his hand and curtsied.

"The pleasure is all mine, sir." She giggled. She turned to Clare. "Where to, boss?"

Eli stood at his locker and watched the group leave together. He felt bad for chickening out, but Beth Devlin was the single last person he wanted to see right now, not when things were going so well with Clare. He would have rather tangoed with Fitz. She was a sweet girl, and if she turned her charm on Clare and Adam he knew they'd end up being friends. This caused a wave of nausea and he held onto his locker for support. Things needed to be sorted out that he just couldn't deal with now and never had. But one thing was certain: they would have to be dealt with soon, or this year was going to be a Hell Elijah Goldsworthy couldn't survive.

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**What did you guys think? I know it's short, but I promise there will be more. I know this is a strange introduction but I swear, all will be revealed in time.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! They're so encouraging. So let's continue.

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_Chapter 2_

Eli walked to The Dot alone. He was hoping to get some time to himself. He walked into the café, seeing Clare and Adam sitting at their normal booth. He fought the urge to frown. Beth was sitting next Adam, smiling and listening with real interest to whatever it was he was saying. Clare saw him at the door and waved him over. He smiled trying to look genuine and sat next to her.

He spent most of the meal very interested in his food, not speaking unless he was spoken to. So much for trying to appear normal. After lunch, he took Clare's hand and walked quickly back to the school, leaving Adam by himself to escort Beth back to school.

He withdrew from everyone the rest of the day, and took off in Morty before anyone could stop him. He thought he was home free but as he ran up the steps to his house something hit him between the shoulder blades. He turned around and saw a small silver cellphone on the sidewalk. He looked across the street at Beth's approaching figure.

"What the hell, dude?" He yelled, picking up the phone. She snatched her phone out of his hand, opening her bag and shoving it inside.

"Look, Eli," she growled. She stood close enough to him that he could feel her breath on his face. He had never seen her so mad. "I'm not upset that you didn't talk to me today. After everything, I don't expect anything from you anymore. But if you want to pretend that what happened with us didn't, then the least you can do is pretend a little bit better than that. Clare is not a dumb girl, and if you're going to lie to her, don't make the truth seem so obvious."

She turned fast on her heels, heading back to her motorcycle. Eli tried to think of something to say. She was right, but his courage failed and he yelled dumbly after her, "How'd you find me?"

She turned slowly looking disbelieving. She pointed at Morty. "Seriously, dude?"

Eli sighed and sat on his steps as he watched her ride away. The truth was that he met her when he and Julia went to club. She was part of the band that had been hired to play and when Julia dragged him towards the stage to gush over the band, he commended her on her vocal styling. She smiled and thanked him, then gave him a list of other bands to check out. She was the one who recommended Dead Hand to him. They all became very close friends. He went to movies with Julia, then would go to Beth's house and sing duets with her as she played her guitar.

Then he started dating Julia, and things got strange with Beth. She never complained being the third wheel, but whenever she brought a date along, something was always wrong with the guy. Eli never found him acceptable. After the fifth failure stormed out of the date, Beth stood and accused him of terrible things. She believed that he didn't want her to be happy and to be alone forever. She started to cry and ran out. Eli held Julia as she cried that night and after he dropped her off at home, seriously contemplated why he really didn't like Beth's boyfriends.

The answer was simple and unnerving. He loved Beth; loved her as much as he loved Julia, but for different reasons. She was the other half of him. A girl who knew everything about him because he was just like her, and she always knew how to get into his head. She was his best friend. He knew this wasn't acceptable, and he decided that he would have to tell Julia that they're friendship with the girl had to end.

But he never could. She saw him the next day and hugged him, crying and wanting him to forgive her. He did of course, and kept his distaste for her dates to himself from then on. Beth and Julia were close too, and he wouldn't send her friend away.

Then one night he and Julia had a fight. It was little more than one of their usual fights, but it was on the phone at his brother's house. His brother was quick to dull Eli's pain with some liquor, which Eli took because he knew it would piss off Julia. He spiked a jug of Gatorade and went for a walk.

An hour later he found himself in front of Beth's house. She opened the door and let him in. Her parents were gone on vacation, so she had full control of the house. He sat beside her on the couch, and she snagged his bottle, taking a large gulp. Eli waited, but when she didn't mention the taste of alcohol, he said nothing.

The bottle was soon empty, and though he couldn't remember who, one decided it would be fun to dance. They drunkenly spun around her living room until Beth tripped, pulling Eli down with her. He landed on top of her and she grunted as he knocked her air out. They laughed stupidly, and then Eli was kissing her. Just like that. He knew it was wrong, but her lips were so inviting, and she could have stopped him. She knew it was wrong too.

But she didn't, and he slept over. The next morning they were both racked with guilt. They confessed that very morning and although Julia was terribly upset, she forgave them. She had called it their "get out of jail free card."

After that Eli and Beth weren't so close, even though Julia always wanted them both at her side. Eli would go straight home after dropping Julia off, even though Beth's house was on the way home. He still loved Beth, but things were different. The feverish crush he had on her had faded, and now he loved her like one loves their best friend. She admitted that she felt the same way. He looked different now to her too.

Then one night he and Julia had a major fight. He had accidently stumbled on an email she'd gotten from some guy who had mentioned an event she had been at with him. He had not been with her that night, and he let the anger stew inside until it exploded out of him on the way home. He accused her of cheating. Julia called him a hypocrite. Eli told her it wasn't the same thing and Julia laughed at him before he could explain. She told him that if he was going to sleep with their friend and demand she be okay with it, then maybe they shouldn't be together anymore.

That did it. He didn't care anymore, he wanted to get the last word and win He told her that Beth was better than her. Julia gasped and started to cry. His pride kept him from caving and apologizing. She demanded he pull over and get her bike out. He did. She got out, pulled herself onto her bike, called him a selfish asshole, and took off into the night.

When Julia's mom called, he was stunned. He dressed quickly and hurried to the hospital but it was too late. He saw Beth hugging Julia's mom, both crying wordlessly. No one had to tell him what happened. He stood frozen as the brightly light hall became a dark tunnel. His world crashed around him. This couldn't be real. This had to be a nightmare.

Beth was in front of him. She was still crying, her face puffy and splotchy. She was talking but he didn't hear her. It was like he was underwater. He felt her arms slide around his neck in her signature hug. She was clutching him life a life raft in the middle of the ocean.

He couldn't deal with this. If he hadn't fought with Julia she'd still be alive right now. She'd be at home watching infomercials to battle her insomnia. But his brain went into denial. It rapidly came to the conclusion that this was Beth's fault. Yes, it was. If he hadn't been with her, then he would have never said such hurtful things. Beth killed Julia.

"Eli?" Beth sniffed. "Say something, please. I can't handle this alone."

"This is all your fault," he accused. Her arms slacked as confusion swept over her features. He grabbed her arms, pulling them off of his neck. He turned and left, feeling that what he had just said was justified.

He knew now that it wasn't her fault at all. If the boiling point hadn't been Beth, he would have said something equally as hurtful anyway. But he'd abandoned her. Julia was her friend too, and in a matter of moments Beth had lost them both.

As he waited out in the park, it started to rain. He contemplated calling again but he saw her bike in the distance. She ran quickly to the gazebo he was sitting in.

"What is it Eli?" She asked, looking annoyed.

"I'm sorry Beth," he said over the pounding rain. "It's just, when she died, I didn't know what to do. I needed to blame someone, and I blamed you. We needed to help each other let her go, and I left you there to fend for yourself. I know I've screwed up, but I hope we can be friends again someday."

She hugged him so quick and tightly that his eyes widened. "I would love that. I want nothing more than to be your friend Eli; to go back to the way things were before we messed things up. I missed you, Stupid."

"I missed you too, Loser," he laughed and hugged her back.

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**I hope this makes up for the ridiculously short first chapter. I hope you all enjoyed this explanation as to why Eli wasn't so happy at first to see Beth. And don't worry you're pretty little heads; I have no intention of ending this story with Eli being in love with Beth. His heart belongs to Clare; and I have plans for Beth **** Please review! I need them to survive!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I only got one review, but one is better than none as I say.

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_Chapter 3_

Clare couldn't believe how different Eli was from the day before. He was relaxed and joking, even more so than she was used to. She had worried something was wrong but it appeared she was mistaken. Maybe he just hadn't been feeling well yesterday.

Eli was glad to have Beth around. It was like old times again. He was also happy they'd made up when he did. In the weeks that passed, Eli was hard pressed to find someone who didn't adore Beth. Everything was going great and things couldn't be better.

"Dude," Beth said, knocking her knee into Eli's as they sat side by side on a picnic table. They all were having lunch in the park and Clare was chasing Adam trying to get her notebook back.

"Yeah?" He asked, watching the scene.

"Looks to me like things are getting pretty serious between you and Miss Edwards." She raised her eyebrows as she popped a baby carrot into her mouth.

"Very astute observation," he said.

"I expect juicy details. So spill," Beth demanded.

Eli laughed. "No, we haven't gotten that far. Clare wears a promise ring and she takes it seriously. So that takes care of that mess. It might drive me crazy sometimes but for her…"

Beth nodded. "Holy carp, you're really in love with her."

Eli nodded this time. "Guess I am."

Beth squealed and hugged him. "This is awesome! I'm so happy for you guys! What's it feel like?"

Eli had to think, and watched Clare as she ran. He didn't want to be cliché and give her a vague answer like 'you'll know when it happens.' Beth had never been in love, and that answer is a cop out to those people. "It's like I've been on pins and needles my entire life and since I've met her, I'm at peace."

He continued to try and explain it, but Beth sighed. "Wow. It sounds so wonderful."

Eli felt sorry for Beth. Her boyfriends had never been the greatest of guys, and her parents were just this side of neglectful. They were socialites, and spent most of their time together and away from her. And when she began to date, most of the guys she chose made it perfectly clear how they felt about her. It's because of those guys she carried a knife in her boot. If things were the same as he remembered, a gun was hidden in her top drawer too.

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As time went by however, he noticed a difference. She stopped carrying her knife, he could tell in the way she walked. Beth smiled more, if that was even possible. Her free time was consumed spending time with Clare, Eli and Adam. Her good mood was infectious, and somehow, she'd convinced Mr. Simpson and the PTA to let the students have a talent show.

Eli and Clare were at a loss to get her to explain. She'd just giggle and tap her lips. Adam had just as much luck. They were so curious, that when Beth invited Clare to sleep over, the boys devised a plan.

"You're bribing me?" Clare cried. The boys shook their heads.

"It's not really bribing per se…," Eli began.

"Yeah, you're doing it for free," Adam finished.

"So just so I understand," Clare said. "You want me to do recon for you at a sleepover?"

Both boys nodded like it was clearly a logical mission. Clare put her face in her palm and laughed. "It's not that simple, guys. What do you think happens at a girl's sleepover?"

"Don't you guys get giggly and talk about things?" Eli said.

"And a pillow fight tossed in for good measure," Adam added.

Clare shook her head. "I'll participate in the sleepover, but I reserve the right to tell you what's going on if I find out. Now scatter, you vultures."

Adam made a grateful gesture with his hands as Eli kissed her good bye.

The next morning, Clare and Beth showed up to school arm in arm, giggling like they had a secret. Eli stood at the corner, waiting for them.

"What are you two so giddy about?" He asked with his usual smirk.

The girls looked at each other and giggled some more. They answered in unison, "Nothing."

"Oh God," Eli groaned, knocking his head against his palm. "My plan backfired."

"Hell yeah it did," Beth said. "That will teach you to try and infiltrate the sanctity that is the slumber party."

"Here comes Adam," Clare said, releasing Beth and snuggling up to Eli. Beth waved at him enthusiastically.

"I know the secret," Clare whispered.

"What is it?" Eli asked.

"You'll see."

Eli watched as Adam arrived. The boy smiled and stopped in front of Beth, who was blocking his way. "Hi guy-"

Beth cut him off, grabbing his face and kissing him. Eli watched in stunned silence as his former best friend orally assaulted his current one.

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**There we go. Everyone loves a little fluff now and again. And how many of you saw that coming? All of you? Well, I'd still love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and my pairing of Adam X Beth. I have no idea when the next chapter will be up because I'm having some writer's block. Right now I only have a vague idea where I want this to go, but I will figure this out.**


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